Matrix of arranged marriage
The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences. This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers.
The Trouble with Indian Matrimony: Matchmaker, Make me a Match!
Scroll down to read more about each and every one of the sites listed in this directory. Please note that Shaadi, Bharat Matrimony and Jeevansathi has specialised sites for different audiences and hence are featured multiple times in this directory. Divorce Matrimony Part of Bharat Matrimony 5.
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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge.
As an independent, working woman of today, why did I choose to do this? Not because of a lack of faith in the ability to fall in love organically but an inkling that perhaps sometimes love is not just enough. The structure of arranged marriage, on the contrary, was allowing me to pick and choose the man who suited my criteria — including emotional intelligence — and help me eliminate apparent risks in a relationship like any toxicity that sometimes go unnoticed, ignored or encountered later in an otherwise organic romantic bond.
This, of course, does not go to suggest that an arranged marriage would turn out to be risk-free, but an early red flag gives you the chance to opt out of the match without any baggage. Perhaps the fact that we see progressive and successful men and women of today as shown in the series still going ahead with the set-up challenges the argument in a way. And we millennials are familiar with such people or are trying out the option ourselves, whether we want to admit it or not.
Netflix show on India’s arranged marriages triggers online debate
For years, online matchmakers such as Shaadi. Earlier this month, Shaadi. Long before the internet got involved, matchmaking in India depended on word-of-mouth recommendations, references from priests and marriage bureaus, or simply the newspaper classifieds section. This marked the slow beginning of a major cultural shift. At the time, parents treaded with caution before posting profiles of their sons and daughters online, recalls Sumeet Singh, chief marketing officer, Info Edge Media that owns matrimonial portal Jeevansathi.
For instance, these campaigns spoke to parents about the ease of using the internet to search for brides and grooms.
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On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it’s up to the couple to decide if it’s a match.
In some respects, the producers should be commended. This is a show that turns away from the “big fat Indian wedding” trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker.
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Matchmaking illustrates the ills of Indian society | Opinion
Her task was to go onto the stage and introduce herself to around 70 eligible bachelors and their parents. At midday girls would wait for prospects to swing by, again with parents on either side. If the two sides hit it off, they would exchange copies of their horoscopes. Nearly 50 men lined up to meet Ashwini that day, speed-dating style. No one made the cut.
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The show has received much criticism for glorifying arranged marriages — a tradition that feeds off regressive stereotypes about genders, caste and class. While the challenges of single-hood resonated with a lot of privileged, mostly savarna Indian women and some men, it was pointed out that the labelling and sorting process of humans involved in the show glorifies deeply regressive traditions Indian women have fought hard against, and some are still unable to stand up to.
Several Dalit writers and activists pointed out that the outrage over Indian Matchmaking from dominant caste circles revealed a deep lack of selfwareness as their own social interactions were also deeply rooted in caste, which relentlessly otherises oppressed castes. At the centre of the show, are regular people struggling to finding a partner they really wanted to be with on a long term basis. HuffPost India reached out over email to Vyasar Mamta Ganesan, a year-old high school college counsellor at Austin, Texas to understand how the process panned out for them and also how the people on the show responded to the allegations of stereotyping and regressiveness.
We have also reached out to some of the women contestants and the makers, whose responses will be published once and if they get back. As someone who has battled that feeling myself, I was curious to know what apprehensions you may have had, to live out this experience in front of a camera, knowing it will be consumed by millions of people. Sometimes, it seems like the event itself is more important to certain parties than the actual married life.
This lets people conflate their feelings about marriage with their feelings about success. And no one, especially not the young, career-conscious Indian, wants to identify as a failure. Even if my default response is to be self-deprecating and make jokes at my own expense, I had my heart broken a few years back. I ultimately became a better person because of it, but I had to go through a lot to get there. Ultimately, what I had to find out was how vulnerable I could get. But I was afraid of what it looked like to keep sharing, to keep twisting the can opener until all my truths popped out.
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Indian Matchmaking, a new Netflix show, has become a huge hit, of professional matchmakers and hundreds of matrimonial websites have.
Now available to stream, the series follows Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia as she painstakingly works with singles and their families in India and America to find desirable mates for marriage. One client, New Jersey-based event planner Nadia, wonders if her Indian-ness will come into question because of her Guyanese heritage.
With the global reach of Netflix, Mundhra saw an opportunity to present a look at dating and relationships through the very specific lens of the South Asian experience that would reach a wide audience. That we have all sorts of different backgrounds, different ideals and ideologies. I think you can sort of learn a lot just from the examples and the specific journey of the participants.
Mundhra ultimately met her now-husband in graduate school. There was this refreshing honesty about her, and absolute passion for what she does. Even as dating sites such as shaadi. Viewers get a glimpse of that process, which includes an emphasis on horoscopes and astrology. She often consults with a face reader on the series, getting detailed reports of her clients based off their facial features assessed via their photos.
She also assembles biodata for each client, which is essentially a marital resume, and conducts in-person consultations with her clients and their families. Taparia is still actively working with singles amid the COVID pandemic, though she has limited her consultations to phone and video. It goes on in my mind 24 hours. Near the end of the season, Taparia reluctantly takes on a divorced single woman as a client, noting that people with children can prove difficult to match.
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Matrimonial websites in India aren’t what they used to be. For years, online matchmakers such as and Bharat Matrimony focused.
The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar.
But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture. As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings.
They were joyful and colorful, and they looked more like a party than a stodgy ceremony. While living under the same roof in quarantine, my mom and I have had a lot of time to watch buzzy Netflix shows together. But I was hesitant to invite her to watch Indian Matchmaking with me, knowing her marriage to my dad was arranged. Did she like the process? She shared with me some details of how her skin tone affected her life when she was growing up.
She was often told not to play outside as a kid, that the sun would make her skin darker and no one would want to marry her.
Inside Netflix’s eye-opening look at arranged marriage, your next reality TV obsession
Marriage is an institution every Indian believes in and it has indeed become a part of our culture. Though love marriages exist in our country, the Indian families still prefer arranged marriages as they believe that marriage is a holy institution which connects not just two souls, but two families also, together. Hence the role of trustworthy mediators in the matrimony is very important.
In Indian Matchmaking, that villain is year-old Aparna Shewakramani, a prospective bride who’s critical of every man she meets and vocal.
To help you find your perfect wife you can easily see and signup at some of the marriage websites that are best given below. Indian weddings are an affair that is rather complex irrespective of which community, ethnicity or faith you hail from. The majority of Indians adhere to the tradition of arranged marriages- where families look for a groom or bride for a female or male of marriageable age despite the increasing popularity of love marriages.
Gents and ladies which can be divided from their partner for just about any good explanation, divorced or where in fact the partner has died, additionally look for matrimony, aside from how old they are. Therefore then you are on your way if you want to up your chances of meeting the right person right now:. Right Here we have been offering you the most useful information for those who find themselves truly in search of their heart mates by way of a matrimonial web web site.
They offer a female or male or their parents, loved ones or buddies to create profiles on the site. Whilst you can upload a profile free on some internet sites for matchmaking, other people charge a charge for the solution. Yet others that are few completely paid solutions. They are centered on faith, ethnicity- including state that is native caste, faith and its own branches in addition to training, Non-Resident Indian, and wide variety other preferences.
Matrimony websites allow families and buddies to look for appropriate brides and grooms across Asia, as opposed to confining their search up to a close group through old-fashioned match-makers, spiritual numbers like priests and pundits. Jeevansathi ended up being started in and it is now company noted on Bombay stock market.